A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he
needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that
she does not need.
A woman worries about the future until
she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future
until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more
money that his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find
such a man.
To be happy with a
man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a
woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand
her at all.
her at all.
Married men live
longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing
to die. Any married man should forget his mistakes; there's no use in two people
remembering the same thing.
to die. Any married man should forget his mistakes; there's no use in two people
remembering the same thing.
Men wake up as
good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow
deteriorate during the night.
A woman marries a
man expecting he will change ... but he doesn't.
A man marries a
woman expecting that she won't change ... and she does.
A woman has the
last word in any argument.
Anything a man
says after that, is the beginning of a new argument.
There are two
times when a man doesn't understand a woman ...
before marriage
and after marriage.
Barbecue Protocol
We
are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to
refresh your memory etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking
activity. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ, the following chain
of events are put into motion:
The woman buys the food.
The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables and makes the
dessert.
The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along
with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, then takes it to
the man who is lounging beside the grill ~ beer in hand.
The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone
where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding
activities can take place without the interference of the woman.
HERE COMES THE IMPORTANT PART:
The man places the meat on the grill...then more routine he
exhibits!
The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great.
He thanks her and asks if she
will
bring another beer while he flips the meat.
IMPORTANT
AGAIN:
The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the
woman...then more routine.
The woman prepares the plates,
salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and bring them to the table.
After eating, the woman clears the table and does all the
dishes.
EVERYONE PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
The man asks the woman how she enjoyed “her night off”.
..
and upon seeing her annoyed reaction,
concludes
that there's just no pleasing some women!
(Graciously
I thank Tom for the foregoing experience)
Here is a poem written
by an African Shakespeare:
Dear White
Fella:
Couple things u
should know ~
When i born, i black
when i grew up, i black
when i go in sun, I black
when i cold, i black
when i scared,
i black
when i sick, i black
& when i die, i black
u white fella
When u born, u pink
when u grow up,
u white
when u go in sun, u red
when u cold, u
blue
when u scared, u yellow
when u sick, u green
& when u die, u grey
& you have the cheek to
call me “coloured”!
Merle Baird-Kerr . . .
November 23, 2011
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