Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Newfoundland and Labrador

Surrounded by the Atlantic Ocean and the Gulf of St. Lawrence, 
Newfoundland and Labrador is the most easterly province of Canada.
 Its capital city is St. John's.

The people live in fishing villages along the coast and small rural communities.
Early settlers mainly came from England, Ireland and Scotland.
Aboriginal ancestry: Mimac, Inuit, Innu and Metis.

There are many bays and fiords along the coastlines...pack ice and iceburgs frequently seen.
Thick forests, many rivers and lakes cover much of the island and south-central Labrador.
Torngat Mountains in Labrador are the most spectacular mountains east of the Rockies.
Visit Gros Morne National Park ~ mountains, forests, lakes and sand dunes.
Visit Terra Nova National Park ~ rocky cliffs, rolling hills, forests, lakes and ponds.

Newfoundland and Labrador are part of the Canadian Shield.
The island's exports are mainly oil, fish products, newsprint, iron ore and electricity.
Churchill Falls in Labrador is the 2nd largest underground hydro-electric power plant in the world.

Signal Hill is a high cliff where Italian inventor, Marconi, received the first wireless signal (1901) from across the Atlantic Ocean.
The Titanic, a large passenger ship, sank in 1912 after hitting an iceburg, south of Newfoundland.
Joey Smallwood, first Premier of Newfoundland, was the main force for bringing Newfoundland into Confederation in 1949.

Provincial Flower: purple pitcher plant. Bird: Atlantic Puffin. Animal: caribou. Tree: Black Spruce.
Slogan: “Seek ye First the Kingdom of God.”
Nicknames : Big Rock!” “The Big Land (Labrador)”

Newfoundland Declares War on USA

President Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.
“Hallo, dere, President Obama,” a heavily accented voice said, “this is Archie, up ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada, eh? I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on ya!”

“Well Archie,” Barak replied, “this is indeed important news! How big is your army?”
“Right now,” said Archie, after a few moments calculation, “there is myself, me cousin Harold, me next-door neighbour, Mick and the whole dart team from the pub. That makes eight!”

Barack paused, “I must tell you Archie that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command.” Archie exclaimed, “Wow! I'll have ta call ya back!”

Sure enough the next day, Archie called again. “Mr. Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!” Barack asked, “And what equipment would that be?” Firmly, Archie stated, “Well, sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer and Harry's farm tractor.”

President Obama sighed, “I must tell you, Archie, that I have 14,000 armoured personnel carriers and 16,000 tanks. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke.” Stunned, Archie spoke, “Lord above...I'll be gettin' back to ya.” Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. “President Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit...and four boys from the Legion have joined us as well!”

Barack was silent for a minute...then cleared his throat. “I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!”

“Jumpins,” said Archie, “I'll have to call youse back.” Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. “President Obama! I am sorry to have to tell ya, dat we've had ta call off dis 'ere war.”

“I'm sorry to hear that, Archie,” said Barack. “Why the sudden change of heart?”

“Well, sir,” said Archie, “we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a bunch o' pints...and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed two million prisoners!”
(Thanks to Tom for the foregoing War Plan)

Postscript: Several years ago, with Elka, we departed on Thanksgiving weekend for an autumn journey to Canada's Maritime provinces. How delightful spending the first evening in Quebec City...enjoying pizza (of wild boar and blueberries) and beer in the 'Old City' adjacent to the St. Lawrence River. Next day, we headed south to New Brunswick, spending a couple days with friends who resided near the St. John River. Then to the Bay of Fundy...saw the tall 'flower pot rocks' when the tide was out; we ascended to the ocean floor...totally amazed that this was possible! We quickly became enamoured with Canada's Maritime flavour.

Merle Baird-Kerr...written October 17, 2014
Comments welcome...e-mail to:

No comments:

Post a Comment