Sunday, May 22, 2016

Married Daughter's Letter to Mom

(With my thanks to Dilu for the following)

Dear Mom: Like every normal girl, I was excited about marriage right from childhood days. Never did I think beyond the time that I would spend happily with 'my prince charming'.

But today, when I am married, I realize that marriage is not all roses. It's not just about being with your beloved and having a gala time. There is so much more to it. It comes with its share of duties, its share of responsiblities, of sacrifices and compromises.

I cannot wake up any time I want.
I am expected to be up and ready before everyone else in the family.
I can't laze around in my pyjamas throughout the day.
I am expected to be presentable every time.
I just can't go out anytime I want to.
I am expected tobe sensitve to the needs of the family.
I just can't hit the bed anytime I want.
I am expected to be active and around the family.
I can't expect to be treated like a princes, but I am supposed to take care of everyone else in the family.

And then, I think to myself, “Why did I get married at all? I was happier with you, Mom. Sometimes I think of coming back home to you...and getting pampered again.

I want to come home to my favourite food...cooked by you every evening after a nice outing with my friends. I want to sleep on your lap like I have no worry in the world. But then, I suddenly realize, had you not got married and made sacrifices in your life, I wouldn't have had so many wonderful memories to hang on to. And suddenly, the purpose of all this becomes clear: to return the same comfort , peace and happiness to my new family that I got from you!

And I am sure, that as time would pass, I would start loving this life equally as you. Thank you, Mom,
for all the sacrifices and compromises you made. They give me strength to do the same as you.
Love You!
As birthdays rolled by yearly, my philosophy was,
'Another year younger...and another year wiser!'

Louise-Ann Caravaggio from Dundas
in writing about Family Relations, writes:
Funny How My Mom Gets Wiser as I Get Older!

We never really appreciate our mother until we become one. The depth of responsibility and emotion of motherhood is all engulfing. As a young person, I never understood just why my mother was so protective. Now, as a 'Mother'...I get it!

My mother was a 'jack of all trades' while I was growing up. She nursed my winter fevers, scraped knees, taught me to read and wiped my tears...always in the vein of unconditional love! She drove my friends and me to high school down Snake Road at Waterdown in all kinds of trying winter weather, when we missed the school bus. She helped me get out of touble in high school at Notre Dame Academy when my sewing was not up to snuff for the nuns. Mom took me to figure skaing lessons and sat in many cold arenas to cheer me on. She nursed me back to health when I broke my wrist and got me back on the ice when I needed that encouraging, gently push. Mom even survived my tumultuous teenage years with the stern saying, “Remember...I'm the Mother!”

Having been a secretary and being a Virgo, Mom is still a stickler for details and a maker of lists. Everything has its place. While growing up, she ironed my underwear, pyjamas, bed sheets..and e
ven her tea towels. My mother spent many hours typing my hand-written university papers on her typewriter before the advent of computers...or I would have sunk. Remember, no 'delete key' in those days. She never complained.

Many years ago, one freezing winter day, our doorbell rang and there was a woman standing there with a Christmas tree. The lady had tried to drag it home...however, it was much too heavy to bear. My mother promptly helped the lady load the tree into our car trunk...and Mom drove the mystery lady home, even though she was very busy. I asked my mom why she did that, and she told me, “It is Christmas...and helping others is the essence of the holiday spirit.” That image and sentiment have stuck with me. For several years, my mom has helped to organize the collection of clothing and toys for the Good Shepherd Centre via our church to be given to needy children at the holidays. She enjoys 'making a difference' in the lives of others.

Over the years, my mother helped me deal with the changes of being a new parent and came to the house to cook and help me with the children. She was my life preserver! My parents baby-sat our children in thier retirement. Their grandchildren loved the attention lavished on them: favourite treats were home-made chicken dumpling soup, pasta and meatballs, egg salad sandwiches and freshly baked cookies. With their grandparents, they also enjoyed shopping excursions, trips to the park, attending recitals and games...and expecially Christmas with the grandparents.

My mother has always been my emotional rock...and for that, I will always be grateful. She made a happy home for my dad and me. With my dad's Parkinson's, she showed him patience and great love over the years. Thank you, Mom, for everything that you taught...and continue to teach me about understanding, selflessness, humour, caring and celebrating special occasions!

Written by Merle Baird-Kerr...May 15, 2016

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