Monday, November 14, 2016

Canadians Are a Rare Breed!



The Official Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart

50 Degrees Fahrenheit (10 degrees C.):
Californians shiver uncontrollably...Canadians plant gardens.

35 Degrees F (1.6C.):
Italian cars won't start...Canadians drive with the windows down.

32 Degrees F (0 C.):
American water freezes...Canadian water gets thicker.

0 Degrees F (-17.9 C.):
New York City landlords finally turn on the heat...Canadians have the last cookout of the season.

-60 Degrees F (-51 C.):
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole...Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door.

-109.9 F (-78.5 C):
Carbon Dioxide freezes and makes dry ice...Canadians pull down their ear flaps.

-173 Degrees F (-114 C.):
Ethyl alcohol freezes...Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.

-459.67 Degrees F (-273.15 C.):
Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops...Canadians start to say, “Cold, eh?”

-500 Degrees F (-295 C.):
Hell freezes over...The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup!

28 Things You Never Knew About Canada

Canada consumes more macaroni and cheese than any other nation in the world.
Canada ~ the world's most educated country by percentage; over half its residents have college degrees.
Police departments in Canada give out 'positive tickets' when seeing people doing something positive.
Canada's lowest recorded temperature was -81.4 degrees fahrenheit (-63 celsius) in 1947.
Canada is the second largest country in the world, right after Russia.
Canada has more lakes than the rest of the world's lakes combined.
Residents of Churchill, Manitoba leave their cars unlocked to offer escape for pedestrians who might encounter polar bears.

Licence plates in the Northwest Territories, are shaped like polar bears.
In 2010, a Canadian man rescued a newborn baby from a dumpster, only to discover he was the father.
Canada has the largest coastline in the world.
Sometimes in Newfoundland, the Atlantic freezes...so people play hockey on it.
The Mall of America is owned by Canadians.
The US/Canada border is the longest international border in the world & it lacks military defence.
The first Canadian casualties of the Afghanistan war were from an American pilot bombing a training exercise.

Prostitution is legal in Canada. Buying the services of a prostitute is not.
Americans have invaded Canada twice...in 1775 and 1812. They lost both times.
Canada” is an Iroquoian language word meaning, “village”.
Canada's official phone number is 1-800-O-Canada.
In Canada, Mexico, India, Russia & Israel, bank notes have Braille-like markings on them.
Canada has fewer people than Tokyo's metropolitan area.
Large parts of Canada have less gravity than the rest of Earth; this phenomenon was discovered in the 1960's.

The Eiffel Tower was almost temporarily relocated to Canada in 1967.
Canada has the third largest oil reserves of any country in the world after Saudi Arabia and Venezuela.
After the attack on Pearl Harbour during WWII, Canada declared war on Japan before the US did.
Canada has no weapons of mass destruction since 1984 and has signed treaties repudiating their possession.
The third country in space, after the US and USSR, was Canada
which was considered to have the most advanced space program in 1962.
During WWII, Canada gave out buttons to people who tried to enlist,
but were refused due to medical reasons to show their willingness to fight.
Until 1999, Guinness Book of Records considered Yonge Street running northward from Toronto, Ontario, as the longest street in the world at 1,896 km (1,178 mi).

Is Canada in Trouble?
(submitted to me by Jeanne)

The population in this country is 33 million.
16 million are Retired...so that leaves 17 million to do the work.
There are 8 million in school...which leaves 9 million to do the work.
Of this, there are 5 million employed by the
Federal, Provincial & Municipal Governments...leaving 4 million to do the work.
200,000 are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing terrorists...leaving 3.8 million to work.
Take from that total, the 3 million people who live on social benefits and that leaves 3 million.
At any given time, there are 18,000 people in hospitals...leaving 782,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 82,998 people in prisons and 699,000 unemployed and wandering the streets.
That leaves just 2 people to do the work:
You and Me!
And there you are...sitting on your `rear end`at your computer reading jokes!

Compiled by Merle Baird-Kerr...October 9, 2016
Comments appreciated: inezkate@gmail.com or mbairdkerr@cogeco.ca

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