Thursday, May 11, 2017

Being a Mom Can Be Tough!

The officer at the driving licence counter asked a lady:
What is your occupation?
The woman, seeking a renewal of her licence, seemed puzzled , so the officer said, “Ma'am, are you employed, have your own business or...”
Oh yes!” The woman replied, “I do have a full-time occupation. I am a mother!”
The officer rolled his eyes: “We don't have 'mother' as an option for occupation. I'll write it down as 'housewife'. That takes care of all questions.

This had happened long ago and was forgotten. Years later, when I (the woman in the story, if you hadn't guessed) went to get her licence, the public relations officer was a somewhat pompous woman.
Your occupation?” she asked in a rather authoritative tone. I just had a moment of inspiration and replied, “I am a researcher in the field of child-development, nutrition and inter-personal relationships.”
The lady officer stared at me in amazement.
I calmly repeated my statement and she wrote it down verbatim. Then, unable to conceal her curiosity, she politely asked, “What exactly do you do in your profession, ma'am?”

Feeling good about having described my occupation so calmly and confidently, I replied, “My research projects have been going on for a number of years (mothers NEVER retire). My research is conducted in the laboratory as well as in the field. I have two bosses (one is God and the other is my entire family). I have received two honours in this field (a son and a daughter). My topic is considered to be the most difficult part of sociology. (All Moms will agree). I have to work more than 14 hours every day. Sometimes even 24 hours are not enough and the challenges are tougher than many other professions. My compensation is in terms of mental satisfaction rather than money.”

I could see that the officer was thoroughly impressed. After completing the licencing formalities, she came and opened the exit door to see me off.
I was welcomed by my 5-year-old research assistant at home.
My new project (6-month old baby) was energetically practising her 'music'.

I had earned a small victory over the government red tape today.
 I was no longer 'a housewife'. Instead, I was now a highly placed functionary 
in a service vital to mankind ~ motherhood!
'Housewife.' Isn't it a great title?
Fit to be added to the nameplate on the door?
By this standard, grandmothers deserve to be called 'senior research officers'...and great-grandmothers qualify as 'research directors'. Aunts and other ladies of that age group can be called 'research facilitators'!
(My thanks to Tom for the foregoing submission)

Eric Grey's Philosophy
Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater!
If you give her sperm, she will give you a baby!
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.
If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.
She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
So, if you give her any ready to receive a ton of shit!

First Grade Drawing
A Grade One student handed in a drawing for her homework assignment.
The teacher graded it and the child took it home. She returned to school the next day with the following note from her mother:
Dear Mrs. Davis,
I want to be perfectly clear on my child's homework illustration.
It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint
surrounded by male customers with money.
I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter
how much money we made in the recent snowstorm.
The drawing is of me selling a shovel!
Sincerely, Mrs. Harrington

Of interest: the child's drawing of 'stick people' does show a long-handled shovel
held my Mommy...surrounded by 7 stick-buyers holding money in their hands.
Her printed caption says: “When I grow up, I want to be like Mommy!”

Written by Merle Baird-Kerr...May 1, 2017

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