Parenting is one of the most important responsibilities we will ever take upon us ~ and yet, what training do we receive for this awesome task? In school, we were taught algebra, history and English...but NOT 'How to Raise Happy and Responsibile Children'. Our lack of preparation is reflected in the condition of our children ~ who often sulk and glare at us and fail to carry out the responsibilites we give them. For many parents, it's easier “to give in!”
What has this taught them???
It always intrigued me as a teacher, having taught several grades from 2 to 8, I could distinguish those children who came from homes where respect and discipline were fully exercised. In preparing my Grade 8 students for High School (due to Grade 9 staff teachers' observations that their incoming students were lacking in grammar construction, in vocabulary and mathematical procedures)...my concentration was on the development of these skills when under my tutorage in Grade 8. Delighted I was, knowing that following their June graduations, they were entering High School well prepared.
Being a parent myself, I learned long ago that if you plan to have children,
it is your responsibility to prepare them for adulthood!
If you want children to 'keep their feet on the ground', put some responsibility on their shoulders.
Treat a child as though he already is the person he's capable of becoming.
Your job as a parent, is NOT to be liked...it's to help your kids become healthy, functioning adults.
It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves...that will make them successful human beings.
(The foregoing quotes by Abigail Van Buren, Haim Ginotti, Denis Waitley,
Dr. Laura and Ann Landers)
Comparing the Costs of Staying Home and Going Away for School
(Excerpts from a recent publication in a local newspaper)
“As a parent with a teenager heading to post-secondary school, you've begun tricky conversations of whether they will live in residence, off-campus or stay at home. Either way, you can expect a crop of new or addtional expenses. Set realistic expectations now by working together to create a budget and to develop financial goals that will get them on the road to healthy money management.”
If Staying at Home: Talk about household expenses! Sharing information with your teen around how much it costs to run the household, will be helpful in future expenses for when they live on their own.
Save for Later: Living at home while in school is an opportunity for them to save for their future. This will encourage your teen to put money aside on a regular basis to give them a head start when it's time to move out.
Living Away at School: Prepare for the new routine and location! Work together to identify local transportation, grocery stores and other amenities. If they're living with roommates, suggest they decide in advnace how costs will be shared so there aren't any surprises.
Plan for the Unexpected: Students who live away are likely on a tighter budget. Whether it's a late-night pizzi or taxi home; having a plan to pay for contingencies will be 'key'.
Look for Creative Ways to Stretch Dollars and Offset Costs: For example, redeem rewards points with credit or loyalty card for practical merchandise like a coffee maker, gift cards for groceries or clothes... even a train ticket or a gas card for trips back home. Students should not expect parents to pay all.
By developing a rewards-based attitude towards saving,
you'll encourage them to be mindful of their spending ~ and disciplined about debt.
It is also important they understand all factors that impact the cost of borrowing money
should they need to...whether by using a credit card for daily spending
or taking out a loan for tuition.
Talk to your bank about how credit cards work...and ask about an automatic savings plan to help them stay 'on track' with their spending. Find more information at www.rbcroyalbank.com/student-solution.
Parenting Truth ~ (also referred to as 'tough love')
If you protect your children from mistakes or rescue them from the consequences...
you delay them from learning the lessons they need to learn.
Sometimes, loving your child means...'setting limits', giving consequences
and saying No! And never back off from these decisions.
Don't be your kids' emergency fund...no matter how well-meaning
or how great your relationship is! (Who is in control?)
“Gifting Car to a Grandchild More Complicated Than I Imagined!”
(writes Don Crossley...a Guest Contributor to The Burlington Post)
We recently purchased a newer car and at the same time, decided to 'gift' our older car, a 2007 model, to our grandson, Aidan, who is 18 years of age and a very careful driver. We soon learned this was not going to be as easy as we thought. First of all, I cannot 'gift' this car directly to our grandson Aidan, but must first 'gift' it to our daughter, (Aidan's mother) who can then decide when to 'gift' it to her son.
Then we learned that the car required a full safety check before the transfer of ownership could take place and we needed to bring that document with us to Service Ontario. We then had to complete the necessary documentation obtained online...and that had to be sworn before a commissioner for oaths.
There is a commssioner at city hall, and we had this done.
Our daughter then arranged insurance coverage on the vehicle
and obrtained a copy of the necessary pink slip proving that coverage was in place.
Then the current licence plates were removed from the vehicle and taken with us to Service Ontario. Bright and early last Saturday morning, our daughter, Laurel and I visited the local Service Ontario office on Fairview Street. We arrived before 9 a.m. only to find a line up of people in front of us waiting for the office to open. It certainly is one very busy place!
Aidan arrived later that day with a big smile on his face to attach the new licence plates...and since his mother has him named as an 'occasional driver' on her insurance, he was able to drive the vehicle home. We hope they have many more years of enjoyment with this car!
Just a reminder to any parent or grandparent wanting to 'gift' their vehicle
to their son or daughter, to first go to the Service Ontario website...and then ensure
they follow each of the steps outlined, in order to allow for proper change of ownership.
Written by Merle Baird-Kerr...August 26.2017
Discovered this today (August 31): "What's happening to our young people? They disrespect their elders, they disobey their parents, their morals are decaying!" This quote could have appeared in yesterday's newspaper...but it's actually from the Greek philosopher, Plato. If parents, today, are struggling with teens, they are not alone! Many parents have had/are having similar experiences. Adolescence is a time when children want more independence and question...or challenge authority...some more so than others.